


The Snack

by Persiflage



Series: The Wonko Shitpost Chronicles [2]
Category: Holby City
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Banter, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Inspired By Tumblr, Kissing, Porn with Feelings, Post-Coital Cuddling, Sex Toys, Sexual Humor, Teasing, Workplace Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:15:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24022711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Persiflage/pseuds/Persiflage
Summary: Canon Divergence: Bernie and Serena have a rather silly conversation, a trip to the cinema, and lots of orgasms.
Relationships: Serena Campbell/Bernie Wolfe
Series: The Wonko Shitpost Chronicles [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1732987
Comments: 14
Kudos: 51





	The Snack

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Wonko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wonko/gifts), [Lapal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lapal/gifts), [Rauz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rauz/gifts).



> This fic was inspired by one of Wonko's [Berena shitposts](https://wonkots42.tumblr.com/post/180529332670/get-it-because-shes-a-snack) over on Tumblr - in fact, she encouraged me to write a fic inspired by it, and since my Muse is weak, I did!
> 
> It's set after Bernie's return from Kiev, but Elinor doesn't die, because fuck canon for torturing Serena constantly!

“Fancy the cinema tonight?” Bernie asks as she and Serena stride through the ward. “If you’re allowed to go, of course.”

Serena gives her a confused look. “Why wouldn’t I be allowed to go?”

“Well, you know – they don’t normally let you take snacks in.” Bernie smirks at her lover, who looks completely pole-axed, which is always a fun look on Serena when it’s caused by Bernie’s innuendo.

“You think _I’m_ the snack?” she asks in a disbelieving tone.

“Of course,” Bernie says, slowing to a standstill, then looking her up and down in a lingering fashion, which has the usual effect of making Serena fiddle with her pendant as a slow blush creeps up from the open neck of her blouse to her cheeks.

Serena shakes her head, a glint growing in her eye. “I’ve noticed your tendency to making ridiculous statements before,” she says. “If anyone around here is a snack, it’s definitely you, Major.” The tip of her tongue peeks out and draws slowly along her upper lip, then lower one, and Bernie concedes that Serena’s well and truly turned the tables on her as she feels herself growing somewhat flustered. 

“Me, a snack?” She snorts, rallying. “Have you seen yourself? You’re the complete package. A curvaceous, vivacious woman who’s an absolute firecracker in bed–”

“Bernie.” Her lover glowers at her as she cuts her off. “You know the rules: we don’t discuss such things in the hospital”

Serena steps closer and Bernie isn’t even aware of reaching out to clasp her hips and draw her body into her own until she registers the press of Serena’s breasts against hers. 

“I’m sorry, love,” she says, soft and contrite. Then she repeats Serena’s earlier action, drawing the tip of her tongue along her lower lip, noting the way her lover’s eyes darken.

“You’re forgiven, for now. But only because you’re such a delicious snack.”

Bernie can’t help snorting again. “Am not.”

“Are so.” 

“Am not.”

“Are so,” Serena says and actually begins ticking Bernie’s supposed snack qualities off on her fingers while still leaning into her body. “Long legs. Lean body. Strong, very clever, fingers.” That one makes Bernie’s face heat up and she knows, if she could see herself, there’d be a pink flush along her cheekbones. “Wonderfully messy hair,” Serena continues. “Incredibly strong.” She leans in impossibly closer so that their lips brush. “Lush, extremely talented mouth.” 

Well, that’s just too much provocation as far as Bernie’s concerned, and she cups the back of Serena’s head and neck in order to kiss her. And not just a chaste peck on the lips, either, but a full blown snog, with their tongues in each other’s mouths, and little whimpers escaping – although Bernie has no idea from whom those noises of appreciation are issuing.

It’s extremely fortunate that no one comes along to see the co-leads of AAU behaving in such a frankly unprofessional manner given that they don’t break apart until the need for air becomes urgent. And when they do, they don’t go far – their foreheads resting against each other as their lungs heave, at which point Bernie notices that Serena’s snuck a hand under her scrub top and is squeezing her breast over her bra. And then she also notices that her own hands are under Serena’s silky blouse, although her hands are definitely in more PG territory.

Bernie clears her throat and Serena leans back without letting go of her. “Hands,” she says hoarsely, having only just noticed that Serena’s other hand is on her arse, underneath her scrubs.

She expects Serena to be mortified by her display of unprofessionalism, but apparently today’s the day Ms Campbell decides to be brazen, despite her earlier chiding of Bernie for claiming that Serena’s a firecracker in bed. “Told you that you’re the perfect snack,” she says, and gives Bernie’s bottom lip a quick nip, before slowly pulling away. 

Bernie can’t move immediately – she’s a bit too dazed by Serena’s attitude. It’s only when her lover says, “Come along, Major, we’ve still got work to do before we can go to the pictures”, that she manages to unplaster herself from the wall and follow her back to their office. She keeps her hands plunged into the pockets of her scrub top in order to ensure that she can keep them to herself until they’re no longer in their workplace.

SC-BW-SC-BW-SC

They get to the cinema in a timely fashion after an early supper at Serena’s place. Bernie hasn’t moved into her lover’s leafy detached yet, but she does spend a large percentage of her off duty hours there, and rarely sleeps in her own poky flat more than two nights out of seven. 

“Do you want popcorn?” she asks as they cross the threshold of the cinema.

“Mmm, no thank you,” Serena says, and there’s that mischievous glint back in her eyes again, and Bernie reckons she knows what’s coming before her lover observes, “I brought my own snack.” Her eyes rake up and down Bernie’s form in a very appreciative fashion. 

She’d retort in similar fashion, but Serena’s already moving towards the counter to collect their pre-booked tickets, and Bernie does her best to calm her racing heart again because when Serena looks at her like that then all bets are off usually. But they’re at the cinema – and she suddenly remembers that afternoon, when Serena had been kissing and touching her in a decidedly non-PG fashion, and she reckons she should’ve insisted they stayed at home this evening, especially since there wasn’t time between leaving work and coming to the cinema to do more than have dinner with Jason before he went off to Alan’s for the evening. They’d even showered separately at Serena’s insistence – which Bernie had had to concede was probably wise or she’d no doubt have done her best to ravish her lover right there and then.

She feels her face heating up and swallows hard, trying to rein her thoughts in, and feeling a little embarrassed at the frankly erotic direction in which they’ve gone. Fortunately, Serena joins her at that moment, and although she gives Bernie a knowing grin and a flirty wink, she kindly refrains from commenting on how flushed Bernie knows she must look.

“Shall we?” Serena says, gesturing towards the door to the screen their film’s showing in.

“Let’s,” Bernie agrees, and doesn’t even startle when Serena slides her free hand into hers.

SC-BW-SC-BW-SC

“I hope no one asks me tomorrow what that film was about,” Bernie observes as they leave the cinema some two and a half hours later. She’s feeling a little uncomfortable by what they got up to in there – surely two mature professional women shouldn’t have spent the entire length of the movie making out like teenagers in the back row, their hands in all sorts of wildly inappropriate places given they were in a public space, even if it was dark.

Serena chuckles, a positively filthy sound. “Just say you were so tired from work that you fell asleep as the opening credits were rolling.”

“Hmm,” Bernie says. She is incredibly aroused, and she still has the fifteen minute drive back to Serena’s to survive before she can do anything about her condition. Possibly longer, if Jason’s back from Alan’s already.

She and Serena climb into her sports car, and Bernie does her best not to break the speed limit while getting them back to the house. She’s very relieved when Serena gets a text from Jason saying that he’s decided to stay over at Alan’s tonight (he’s got tomorrow off work) and he’ll see them at home tomorrow.

Bernie parks her car behind Serena’s in her drive, then hustles her lover, who pretends to be outraged but really, she’s not fooling Bernie one bit, into the house. They are no sooner in the door than Bernie pins Serena against the solid oak and begins kissing her hungrily, her hands roaming under her clothes, desperate to finish what they started in the cinema.

Then Serena grabs her hair and tugs her head back, hissing a little at the sting from Bernie’s teeth on her collarbone. “Upstairs, soldier. Now.” She uses her sternest tone of voice, the one that she knows full well drives Bernie wild, and she immediately scoops Serena up – one arm around her back, the other under her knees – and carries her, giggling breathlessly, straight upstairs to her bedroom.

She shoulders the bedroom door open, strides across to the bed, and drops Serena into the middle of it, then yanks her shoes off before toeing off her own. She climbs onto the bed, then crawls over Serena and pins her down with her own body, before resuming the kissing, eliciting such loud moans that Bernie’s glad that Jason’s not home.

She deftly unbuttons Serena’s silk blouse, tugs her upright so that she can peel it and her camisole top off then, still kissing her, she unclasps Serena’s bra and slips it off. She drags her mouth from her lover’s as she lifts Serena’s breast and ducks her head to suckle hard on the already stiff nipple. She’s dimly aware of Serena mewling, but it’s just background noise that’s almost entirely lost in the sound of her own blood rushing in her ears. 

After she’s suckled on both of Serena’s breasts, she lowers the other woman back down to the bed, then sets about divesting her of her trousers, her stockings, and her knickers, which she gets a kick out of noticing are already damp.

Once she’s got her lover entirely naked she sits back on her heels and gazes down at her without saying a word until one of Serena’s eyebrows wings up interrogatively.

“Yup, definitely a snack. A very delicious snack.”

Serena huffs a laugh, then says, “You’re wearing far too many clothes, Major. In the interests of reciprocity, might I suggest you get your kit off, soldier?”

“Yes ma’am!” Bernie says, snapping off a salute, which elicits a peal of laughter from her lover. She begins unbuttoning the black long sleeve shirt that she’d paired with her black skinny jeans today. She makes a point of unbuttoning the cuffs first, before she works her way up the shirt from the bottom to the top, noting the avid way that Serena watches her, and smirking a little at the sight of the tip of her tongue coming out to swipe repeatedly along her bottom lip.

Once the shirt’s fully unbuttoned she leans back on her heels, still kneeling astride Serena’s thighs, and unbuttons her jeans as well. Then she rocks back and pushes up onto her feet, before sliding her shirt off. She peels her jeans down her legs, then tosses them, her socks, and her shirt onto the floor, leaving behind only the plain white sports bra and the unfussy white knickers that she’d put on this morning. She can feel that her knickers are damp, unsurprisingly given all their kissing and touching, and she wastes no time in ditching them over the side of the bed too once she’s drawn them off, then she unclasps her bra and slips that off too, tossing it onto the growing pile of clothing beside the bed.

She’s startled, when she kneels back over Serena, to find herself tugged down atop her lover, then rolled onto her back.

“And now, Major Wolfe, I am going to enjoy my snack,” she says, her eyes dark with desire. “Do you submit to your fate, soldier?”

“Willingly,” Bernie agrees, already breathless. She’s not sure quite why, but it really turns her on when Serena calls her ‘Major’ and ‘soldier’. From her it always sounds unbearably sexy.

Serena starts by kissing and nipping at her throat and collarbones, always a favourite spot of hers on Bernie’s body, and Bernie can feel herself melting into the bed, as she always does under Serena’s ministrations. Neither Marcus nor Alex had ever managed to reduce her to a puddle of quivering limbs in the way that Serena always can – sometimes she thinks it should worry her, but mostly she doesn’t care. And tonight, she definitely doesn’t care.

From her throat and collarbones Serena moves her mouth to Bernie’s heart surgery scar, dragging her tongue down its length before kissing her way back up again. Bernie shudders at the sensations that her lover is eliciting, then moans embarrassingly loudly when Serena cups her breasts, one in each hand, and blows moist warm air over her nipples, one after the other. She is growing perilously close to climaxing already, even without Serena going anywhere near her sex.

“S-Serena,” she gasps. “Going to come.”

“Oh darling.” Serena’s voice is rough with her own desire. “Please do.” She ducks her head and suckles hard on Bernie’s left breast, using her teeth as well, and Bernie wails with pleasure as her orgasm overtakes her. Her hips jolt beneath Serena’s prone body atop her own, and her lover lifts her head to smirk at her, before getting her mouth on Bernie’s other breast to suck and nip again.

Bernie can only lie there, breath coming raggedly, heart thumping erratically, as Serena works her way down her torso, laps idly around her navel, then lightly rests her chin on Bernie’s mound.

“Okay?”

Bernie nods. “Yeah.”

“It seemed to me that was a more intense orgasm than you usually achieve when I’m not actively fucking you or eating you out?”

“It was,” Bernie tells her, her voice hoarse. It’s not unusual for Serena to make her climax when she’s playing with Bernie’s breasts because they are ridiculously sensitive, but she definitely hasn’t climaxed that hard before in similar circumstances.

Serena hums with obvious satisfaction, then shifts backwards on the bed to position herself fully between Bernie’s spread legs. Serena softly kisses each leg in turn, starting at the back of her knees, then working up to the apex of her thighs. Once there she blows softly on Bernie’s sex, making her legs twitch, then she laps at her outer lips a couple of times, before toying with her clit. Bernie cannot help a whine from escaping at this point, and Serena hums again, before licking up the length of her sex in a very deliberate fashion, her nose bumping against Bernie’s clit. 

Her hips jolt when Serena slides two fingers into Bernie’s slick heat, and twist, seeking out her G-spot, and Bernie can’t help reaching down to hold the back of Serena’s head in place as she really goes to work. Her mouth and her fingers work in tandem, setting a brisk pace, as she does her best to drive Bernie to another, even more explosive (knowing Serena) orgasm. 

When Bernie climaxes the second time her hips lift from the bed and she cries out in pleasure; she loses all track of time and almost all sense of her body – the sensations caused by the aftershocks of her orgasm are the only things she has any awareness of for several seconds. 

By the time she’s registering anything at all besides her pulsing sex, Serena has moved to lie beside her, a very smug smile curving her lips as she regards Bernie from a few inches away.

“Fuck,” Bernie says, quite emphatically.

Serena’s smirk turns into a full blown grin. “I believe I just did. But I’m happy to go for a third one if you want me to.” Her right hand slides across Bernie’s belly, and she manages to find the wherewithal to capture Serena’s wrist and draw her hand back up so that she can lap at her fingers, curling her tongue around each fingertip in turn.

“No, thank you,” Bernie says sincerely, pleased to note that Serena’s eyes have gone dark with desire. “I believe it’s your turn now, Fräulein.”

“If you’re up for it,” Serena says in a faux casual tone that doesn’t fool Bernie for an instant – she knows very well that her lover is so ready to be fucked.

“Would you like me to be?” Serena frowns, so Bernie elaborates. “Would you like me to be up for fucking you?”

The frown clears immediately. “If you’re not too tired?” She tries to mask her eagerness, but Bernie can tell that she would very much enjoy it.

“I’m not.” Bernie rolls off the bed, goes into the ensuite for a quick wash, then moves over to the chest of drawers and pulls out a pair of blue shorts, a dildo, and a bottle of lube.

“Want to–” she starts to ask as she turns around, then smirks when she sees that Serena’s anticipated her, and there’s now a towel spread out on the bed so that the lube doesn’t mess up the sheets.

She sets the bottle of lube on the nightstand, puts the dildo beside it, then pulls on the shorts, her eyes fixed on Serena’s throughout. Her lover’s lips are parted, her breath already short in anticipation of what’s about to happen. Bernie smiles, then attaches the toy to the ring on the front of the shorts, before pouring some lube into the palm of her right hand. She keeps her eyes on Serena’s the entire time, and enjoys the sight of the flush that rises from her chest to her cheeks, her skin reddening delightfully as Bernie begins to stroke the toy, smoothing lube along the length of silicone. Her eyes become fixed on Serena’s sex, noting how damp her bush is already, and she feels a tingle at the base of her spine as her own anticipation builds. 

When Serena had first asked her to use a toy during sex Bernie had worried it was because her lover wished she was a man not a woman, but Serena had assured her, repeatedly, that this wasn’t the case. She simply sometimes wanted, no needed, more girth than Bernie’s fingers could provide. It isn’t always the case – often, in fact, Bernie’s fingers are sufficient for her needs, but sometimes she wants more, and Bernie is quite happy to provide.

She climbs back onto the bed, kneeling between Serena’s spread legs, and is about to slide in her sex when Serena says, “Wait. Will you do it the other way. Please?”

Bernie nods and shifts back to make space for Serena to roll onto her belly with a pillow under her hips. Bernie rearranges the position of the towel, then moves forward and slides the lubricated toy into Serena’s sex. Her lover moans loudly as Bernie penetrates her, then grunts in satisfaction as Bernie lowers her body so that her chest is pressed to Serena’s back.

It’s an interesting position: Serena’s legs are almost closed and her hips canted up towards Bernie’s groin. The toy penetrates her deeply in this position, which Serena finds very satisfying, and the pressure of the base of the toy against Bernie’s clit is satisfying for her, too. She knows that Serena enjoys the press of her breasts against her back, and she likes to slide her hands underneath Serena’s torso to fondle her breasts while she fucks her. The only downside to this position, as far as Bernie’s concerned, is that she cannot watch her lover’s face as she climaxes.

“Bernie,” Serena gasps, her face turned to the side on her pillow. “Gonna–”

The rest of the sentence gets lost in a muffled wail as Serena climaxes hard, and while Bernie cannot feel her inner walls clenching around the toy, she has experienced it often enough when Serena orgasms around her fingers to be able to imagine it happening now, and with one last thrust she feels herself climaxing too. 

“Okay?” she asks after a minute or two.

“Yes,” Serena says, breathless still. “Could you – That is, would you mind–”

“Want me to fuck you again, Fräulein?” Bernie asks, unable to hold back a smirk. 

“Please.” 

“Like this?” Bernie asks, thrusting her hips gently. “Or a different position?”

“This,” Serena says. “Please.”

“Alright.” Bernie slides the toy out, making her lover whine. “Patience, love,” she says. “I want to use some more lube.”

“Bernie, please.” 

She chuckles softly as she lubes up the toy again, then wipes her hand on the towel, before she slides it back into Serena’s sex. She begins to move, her thrusts fairly slow at first, just because she loves to hear Serena beg her for ‘more’ and ‘harder’. It doesn’t take long for Serena to begin gasping out those words, and Bernie immediately begins to fuck Serena in earnest. She slides her right hand down her lover’s body, enjoying the sensation of Serena’s skin against her fingers, then she presses lightly against Serena’s clit. That elicits a very loud cry and Serena’s hips buck beneath her body, which just encourages Bernie to move faster and thrust deeper than ever.

Serena’s gasping and moaning, her body writhing beneath Bernie’s, by the time she pushes her lover over the edge a second time, and it is a truly glorious thing, as far as Bernie’s concerned, to give her partner so much pleasure.

She eases the toy free of Serena’s sex, wraps the towel around it, then puts it on the nightstand. She guides Serena to lie on her back, then encourages her to snuggle up against her, and presses a kiss to her temple.

“Okay?” she asks softly, beginning to stroke her fingers through Serena’s sweaty, dishevelled hair.

“Yes.” Serena breathes out in a long, steady exhale. “Thank you so much, Bernie.”

“You’re very welcome, my love.”

“I love you. So much.”

“Love you, too.” 

They kiss briefly, then Serena sighs. “I should have a shower.”

“That might be a good idea,” Bernie agrees, her fingers still combing through her hair.

“In a minute. I’ll move in a minute.”

Bernie chuckles. “Did I break you, Fräulein?” she teases.

“I think you might have. I definitely feel like you fucked me into next week.”

“Best sort of customer review,” she says.

Serena swats feebly at her. “Oi,” she says. “Did you, when you were using the toy–”

“I climaxed too, yes. Both times.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah. That thing and the shorts were a sound investment.”

Serena chuckles. “Good to know.”

They lie there for a few more minutes, but when their bodies have cooled enough to shiver a little, Bernie chivvies Serena into getting out of bed, and they shower together, towel themselves dry, then Serena climbs back into bed while Bernie puts the lube away, and cleans the toy before putting that back in the drawer as well.

Then she climbs into bed beside Serena and sets the alarm on her phone before they cuddle up together, both ready for sleep. It’s been a good evening, she decides, pressing a kiss to the already sleeping Serena’s temple before drifting off to sleep herself.


End file.
